When the Water is the Runner

I have always been a lover of cross country, I was never a runner in said sport but was always a supporter of it. My brother ran it all through high school, and one of my sisters ran from middle school through high school. I always remember screaming and cheering them on but more than that watching them. I would watch their faces. While I would stand at the finish line and watch runner after runner complete their 3 mile race, I would notice the vast assortment of faces they would be making as they ran. You had some with full concentrations, some you could tell that 3 miles was hurting pretty bad, some look determined to pass the person in front of them even if they were quite a ways in front of them. But no matter what look was on their face there was always a thought going on to produce that face. I once asked one of my friends who is an avid runner, "Why would anyone choose to run for so long?" She told me it was a great way to clear your head. Huh? Although the idea of running for pleasure never really struck me, and I was unable to run cross country due to poor ankles that may or may not have been caused by me running away from a bee. But I have always been jealous of those who could run long distances, like my family, so yesterday I decided I would start running.

I got back to my room following my afternoon rehearsal, changed into some workout gear, took two puffs of my inhaler and then double checked with myself that I was actually going to do this. I headed outside into the humid warm air, and as I turned away from tower hall I began to run. I ran down the street and after I past four blocks I started to get a pain in my side. The wuss in me was saying "Hey chicka just Stop!" but not now. I kept running until I arrived at Stephens Lake Park. It is absolutely beautiful and was the perfect setting for my first day running. I made the goal for myself: Run around this entire lake. As I ran I found that I couldn't think of anything except, "Breath Danielle keep breathing DONT DIE!" That during this first lap around the lake I couldn't imagine running long distance when the only thing I could think of was reminding myself not to die. As I completed my first lap, I stopped and let the pride swim over me. But what I realized was I spent the entire lap looking at the ground following my minds direction of not to die on my first time out running. Pride quickly turned to being ashamed, ashamed at the fact that I didn't take in the enviornment around me. So the new goal was to take another lap looking up this time. As I started this next lap I looked up and realized that this was a pleasant day outside. About half way around I realized that this 2nd lap might have been a little ambitious for a virgin runner. As my run turned to walking I looked and saw a gentle waterfall trickling over some rock. One of the unique parts about the lake is the bridge things that connect the shores to a little green island in the middle of the lake. As I walked onto the first bridge I noticed on the green island the perfect sitting rock...

I mad my way out to the perfect sitting when I passed the the bench that you see in the picture. That bench had a plaque on it. There was someones name on it but I don't remember who, but there is one word on that plaque that set the meaning to my running adventure. "Memory" Although in the context of the bench it was to immortalize someone, because someone thought they deserved it. Now I don't if they deserve the bench I didn't know the person but I'm sure they did but then I got another word that added meaning to my run "thought." So as I sat down upon the sun warmed surface of the rock I looked out upon the sapphire lake and put the two words together: memory and thought, both dealt with same thing, the mind. As the concept came to me a little came to a toddler got away from his mother ran by me picked up a stone and throwing into the water. As the parent took her child  back in her arms, I watched the ripples. I watched them spread. I leaned in viewing and saw my reflection in the mirror water. Red faced, hair sticking out everywhere, sweaty, it wasn't my most glamourous moment. Leaning back against my rock I continued looking at the calm again water. I noticed several small fish swimming franticly around. Giggling I began to wonder what were they thinking. Once again I leaned back and just gazed over the horizon of the lake. As the worry's and problems of my own life began to return to my own head, the same problems I was hoping to figure out on my run but I was too busy trying not to die, I began to try to figure solutions or remedies to help the stresses of my world. For a moment I wished I could be water. So pristine and calm and beautiful, I was jealous of the  its incredible appearance. The frantic fish were still swimming along the edge of a rock, apparently trying to sort their own problems out when I realized a lake is no different from our minds. 

Now before you think I have gone off my rocker think about it. As calm we want to appear on the surface something is always moving. At every lake you look at it is always moving it ebbs and flows all the time even at its calmest it is still moving back and forth. Back and forth like our own humanly doubts. We go back and forth on issues, whats right? whats wrong? why yes? why no? they are the true ebb and flow of our minds. Now take those frantic fish, we all have those moments where our own frantic troubles take hold, where we are looking for something or finding the answer to an important question. Our mind is always franticly moving to some answer. Just as small children throw rocks in the lake causing ripples, do others say or do things that create ripples in our minds. Whether it is an insult, that causes us to wonder what we did wrong or what is wrong with us, or a compliment that causes to think a little bit more positive about the world or ourselves. But then I wondered why do we think the way we do. As I looked to the water for answers I heard the trickling answer of the creek water coming down the waterfall. Just the same way that creek water that has hit every rock on its journey and that creek water that has seen the many miles that it rushes past finally makes it to the lake, the people we know and the events that we witness change or cultivate the way we view or think about things. So you wonder where stress comes from, well it comes from fish, children with arms for throwing stones, ebbs and flows, and water that has been traveling for a long time. We all have our own fish, stones, ebbs, flows, and water. And we all release them differently, a lake releases it through a stream that eventually reaches the ocean. We all release stress, thoughts, memories differently. Some place write, some sing, some make music, some complain, some place benches, heck some even run, but no matter what you do it the letting go and allowing your own thoughts to become the creek water to someone elses mind. 

As I felt the sun warming my back as it began to set I got up from my rock and took one last look over the lake. I realized from far away it appears calm but only when you stick your feet in it do you feel the tide. Only when we take a moment to understand the other persons mind do we understand their own thoughts. So next time you say something to someone what kind of ripples are you creating, what stones are you throwing, or are you adding panic to their already existing fish. Or is your wisdom or action adding creek water to the lake. Are we the clear water in someone's mind or are we the pollution? 

DW

P.S. I wrote this at like 1 in the morning, so if there are words missing, I usually skip over somethings when I get to writing. Whoops I will edit some time when I am not tired.