This morning I woke up with a 10lb weight on my chest. The realization that 10 years ago I woke up like it was any other day no real emotion, it was just another Tuesday. And now this wasn't just any other Sunday. A true sense of nervousness wrapped us all in a blanket, as we woke up thinking. I know my feeling was probably shared by many. The idea of not getting out of bed, so you wouldn't have to turn on the TV or look outside. The attempt to turn off your mind so you don't have to think about it. And trying to turn off any emotion so you don't have to feel. But doing any of these is no real option. Because we all wake up, we all think, and we all feel. As I took the metaphorical weight off my chest I climbed down from my bunk and I took a deep breath in and looked at my roomie. She gave me a giggle and said "Good morning!" I couldn't tell if she was giggling at the fact that I probably looking pretty funny coming down the ladder, or the fact that the makeup from the evening before was still on my face. I gave her a "Morning'" and shuffled my way to the bathroom. Turning on the hot water to remove the cement off my face I look into the mirror and there it was. One single tear begin forming, as choked back I realized this was where I heard. Through a mirror. As a fourth grader one of the grueling tasks that was part of my daily routine was getting my bangs curled. This things girls suffer for beauty. As an accident pronned 9 year old my mom hadn't quite taught me how to curl them myself. So I would come into her room and sit and she would curl them. I was in the room when she received a phone call. I watched as the color left her face and she quickly grabbed the remote. By then I had gotten off the chest sitting at the end of her bed and moved to the mirror to examine the hair hanging in my eyes. As the tv took a few seconds for the picture to come up I was making faces while my mom eyed the tv. When the picture finally appeared, the corner of my mirror was filled with smoke. I quickly turned around asking my mom what was wrong and why the building was on fire. She responded, "Someone hit them." Someone. She sent me on my way to the bus stop, bangs still uncurled. Someone. This meddled with my mind. The fact that someone hit a building. Why? When the bus pulled up to my elementary school. I just got off, and instead of hanging out outside we were rushed in. To me seeing 'someone' hit a building and being denied my morning recess this was very wrong. I went to my desk and a sat and watched as Mrs. Lewis began teaching. You could see it was difficult for her to teach, something was wrong. Moments later she stopped away, put the marker down, wiped the marking from board and pulled the tv into view. When she turned it on, all there was smoke. The smoke that filled my mirror was quadrupled in my own eyes. The building that 'someone' hit had changed into a lesson. A lesson where little 9 year old 4th grader with bangs hanging in face, learned the meaning hatred. No longer were caddy girls on the playground considered evil, or my sister constantly annoying me made her a jerk. As I watched the towers fall and the ash and smoke rise, I began crying. Mrs. Lewis quickly seeing my tears pressed the power button. Immediately I shouted, "Turn it back on!!" She obliged and we all sat there silent for 7 hours of our school day watching as our little world turn into chaos.
We all learned, not every lesson is the same for everyone, but we all learned. We watched people die. We couldn't do anything. We were helpless. But have we learned the true lesson. TV stations blarred the idea of a coming together. A great nation United and strong. And as a nation thats true, for a moment. But as the years gone on have we learned the united lesson? This evening I was watching a documentary about the rebirth of freedom. As the haunting images filled the screen I quickly turned before I could display any emotion. As I flipped through the channels I saw 3 channels where girls where slapping other girls. 2 channels where I guys where screaming in each others faces. And 4 channels where curse words filled the speakers. Hatred according to television. Then I turned one more channel and then there were pictures of hatred according to the world. We all have personal problems, with friends, with family, with both. We argue and we quick talking to people assuming that problems will work themselves out later. If we learn anything from this event 10 years later is that is no later there is only now. As I looked my self after washing the final remains of cement off my face, I looked in the mirror. The little girl with bangs her face was now an adult watching a world a change in a mirror. Life holds a lot of lessons that we are suppose to learn. As reruns fill my screen and the chills roll up my spine I know what my lesson is. 'Someone' is a mirror of 'many'. The someone that I watched destroy a building was an exact reflection of the feeling of many. And it was that many that shaped a single day into THE day. The day we would be given a single definition of fear, hatred, and evil. The day that we all remember more clearly than what we breakfast had for yesterday. The day that defined the person in your mirror.
10 years, we have seen every vivid image, video, word that was produced that day. But have we learned. When you look in the mirror what someone are you seeing?
DW
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